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What I Wish I Knew at 20: 40 Truths I’ve Learned by 40

Posted on January 23, 2026January 23, 2026 by sherwinelaine

Yesterday, I officially turned 40.

If you had asked my 20-year-old self where I’d be at this age, I probably would have described a life that looks nothing like the one I have now. Back then, 40 felt like “the end”: the end of youth, the end of fun, the end of dreaming.

But waking up today, I realize 40 isn’t the end; it’s the Second Act. It’s the age where you finally stop living for the “performance” and start living for the “person.” In honor of this milestone, I’ve compiled 40 truths I’ve picked up along the way. Whether you’re 20, 40, or 60, I hope these reminders help you protect your peace and find your joy.

On Self-Love & Boundaries

“No” is a complete sentence. You don’t owe an explanation for protecting your time.
You are not responsible for other people’s emotions. Their reaction to your boundary is their work, not yours.
Comparison is a thief. You’re comparing your “behind-the-scenes” to everyone else’s “highlight reel.”
People-pleasing is a form of manipulation. It’s trying to control what others think of you. Just be real.
Trust your gut. Your “vibes” are actually your subconscious picking up on red flags your brain wants to ignore.
Done is better than perfect. Perfectionism is just procrastination in a fancy suit.
Forgive your younger self. She didn’t have the tools you have now.
Your worth is not tied to your productivity. You deserve rest even on the days you “did nothing.”
Don’t dim your light to make others comfortable. If they find you “too much,” let them find less.
The most important relationship you have is with yourself. Everyone else is a guest.

On Health & Aging

Sunscreen is your best friend. Wear it every day. Your 40-year-old face will thank you.
Health is a wealth you don’t notice until it’s gone. Move your body because you love it, not because you hate what you ate.
Sleep is a superpower. Guard your eight hours like your life depends on it.
Mental health is physical health. A stressed mind will eventually break a healthy body.
Drinking more water fixes 50% of your problems.
Aging is a privilege. Many people didn’t get the chance to see their 40th birthday.
Skincare > Makeup. Invest in the canvas, not just the paint.
Listen to your body. That “random” back pain is your body telling you to slow down.
Sugar is the real enemy, not fat.
Go to therapy. Even if you think you’re fine. It’s like a gym for your soul.

On Relationships & Connection

Keep your circle small. You don’t need 100 acquaintances; you need three people who will show up at 3 AM.
Love is a choice, not just a feeling. Choose people who choose you back.
Family isn’t always blood. Build your “chosen family” with people who see the real you.
Stop trying to fix people. They will only change when they are ready, not when you are ready for them.
Loneliness is better than a bad relationship.
Tell people you love them. Frequently. Life is short and fragile.
Apologize when you’re wrong. It doesn’t make you weak; it makes you a leader.
Let go of “toxic” friends. Life is too short for people who drain your battery.
Listen more than you speak. You’ll be amazed at what people reveal when you’re quiet.
Kindness is free, but its value is priceless.

On Career & Growth

It is never too late to pivot. I’m 40 and still growing. You can start that blog, that business, or that degree today.
A job is what you do, not who you are. Don’t give your soul to a company that would replace you in a week.
Failure is just data. It’s telling you what didn’t work so you can find what does.
Financial freedom is better than “stuff.” Save for your future self.
The “Right Time” is a myth. If you wait for the stars to align, you’ll be waiting forever.
Invest in your brain. Read books, take courses, stay curious.
Hobbies are essential. Do things just because they are fun, not because you can monetize them.
Travel as much as you can. Seeing the world shifts your perspective in ways a book never can.
Comparison kills creativity. Stay in your own lane.
The best is yet to come. Believe it.

Entering my 40s feels like finally exhaling a breath I’ve been holding for two decades. If you’re reading this and you’re feeling “behind,” just know that your timeline is yours and yours alone.

Which of these lessons resonated with you the most? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

#featured, Life

An Open Letter to the Women Who Feel Tired, Reliable, and Invisible

Posted on July 18, 2025 by sherwinelaine

I’m just a girl who once dreamed of becoming successful. Not in the glossy, magazine-cover kind of way, but in a way that felt honest and true. I dreamed of a life where I could do meaningful work, love and be loved, and be present for the people who mattered most.

I never aimed to be the perfect wife or mom. I never felt the pressure to live up to that title. But I did, and still do, want to be there for every milestone. I want to be the one cheering loudly during school performances, preparing their favorite comfort meals on tough days, and having the kind of home that always feels safe and warm. I want to make sure my family has everything they need, not just in material things, but in love, support, and time.

In my mind, my ideal day is simple. I’d start it by driving my daughters to school, music playing softly in the background as we chat about their day ahead. I’d come home, fit in a quick workout, then savor a quiet breakfast while mapping out the day’s priorities. Work would be purposeful, with enough breathing space to think, create, and contribute without constant chaos. And in the afternoon, I’d fetch the kids again, winding down the day with unhurried conversations over dinner and quiet, present time spent with my husband and kids.

I don’t take for granted the trust others place in me. Being seen as “the reliable one” is something I appreciate. It means people believe I can be counted on. But I need to admit this, out loud and without guilt: I don’t want to be the default person everyone turns to for help, to vent, to unload frustrations. I don’t want to carry other people’s emotional weights just because I’m capable. It drains me. It’s heavy. And some days, I’m already carrying more than I let on.

And there’s something else I’ve had to learn the hard way. No matter how honestly I speak, no matter how vulnerable I try to be, there will always be people who choose not to believe me. That hurts more than I often let on. But I’ve come to understand that I cannot rely on anyone else to validate my truth. Because I know the whole story. I know the intentions behind my actions, the silent battles I’ve fought, the weight of what I carry behind closed doors. And that has to be enough.

This isn’t me turning away from people. I’ll always be here for those I love. But I’m learning to protect my peace. To draw boundaries not out of selfishness, but out of self-preservation. Because I deserve to feel light too. I deserve to feel whole.

If you’ve ever felt the same, I see you. Let’s remind each other that it’s okay to choose rest over responsibility sometimes, to say “not today” without shame, and to be both reliable and soft with ourselves.

After all, I’m just a girl who had a dream, and that dream includes not losing myself along the way.

💬 I’d Love to Hear from You

Have you ever felt like the default strong one? Do you find yourself constantly holding space for others, even when you need support too?

Leave a comment below or share this post with someone who needs to hear they’re not alone.

Life, Parenting

The Quiet Ache of Being the Strong One

Posted on May 29, 2025 by sherwinelaine

There are days when I wake up and carry the weight of the world like I always do—managing work, family, home, and everything in between. People often say, “I don’t know how you do it,” or “You’re so strong.” And while I’m grateful they see me that way, I wish they also saw the quiet ache behind the strength.

Because sometimes, I don’t want to be the strong one.

Sometimes, I miss the days when someone checked in on me. When my parents—especially my mom—would ask the simplest questions like “Kumain ka na?” or “Okay ka lang ba?” And somehow, those words could soften even the hardest days.

As I grow older, I feel that longing more deeply. The kind of longing that no amount of success, to-do lists, or achievements can fill. I miss having someone to call just because I’m tired. Not for advice. Not for help. Just for comfort. Just to hear someone say, “You don’t always have to be okay.”

I want to be clear: I am blessed with a loving, thoughtful husband who supports me in every possible way. His presence in my life is a gift I never take for granted. But there’s a kind of care—a kind of comfort—that only a parent, especially a mother, gives. And it’s that irreplaceable presence I find myself yearning for.

But adulthood is strange that way. We grow into roles that require us to be everything for everyone—shock absorber, fixer, nurturer, leader. And while I love being dependable, being that person… it can be so exhausting.

It’s a quiet kind of tired. The kind that doesn’t always show.

The kind you feel at night when the house is finally quiet and you realize no one asked how your day went.

I miss having someone who looked after me, not because I needed something, but just because they cared. I miss being someone’s child. I miss my mom.

So, if you’re reading this and you feel the same… I just want to say: you’re not alone. It’s okay to be strong and still crave softness. It’s okay to lead and still long for someone to check in on you.

And if you still have someone in your life who does that—who listens, who asks, who notices—don’t take it for granted. That kind of love is rare, and it’s everything.

#featured, Life

How are you coping up, Mama?

Posted on October 27, 2022March 12, 2025 by sherwinelaine

Life has been overwhelming this past few weeks. So many ideas going through my head. Business is doing well, but I’m having a hard time with my work schedule since the younger one has been clingy lately. When I need a breather, I just browse through a book (enjoying Kindle — best purchase it is!) and it helps me relax for a while. Everyday becomes routinary with motherhood tasks, business engagements, socmed updates and all.

Everyone else wonder why stay-at-home Moms feel sad or empty despite “JUST staying at home to watch over the kids all day”, let me be clear with it. Full time moms are (not always) but oftentimes unappreciated. When you do a great job in a corporate setting, the boss will most likely acknowledge your work. It’s just hugs and kisses here. You have to tell yourself that you are doing a good job. Being a full time Mom with no househelp is very challenging. 24 hours is not enough to do all the work. The emotional baggage makes it harder.

You cannot say you are tired. People think you are always available and you are not busy. It’s not justifiable to buy clothes, bags and makeups. You have to keep the house clean and tidy. You have to empty the laudry bin and iron clothes religiously. You have to cook food. You have all the time in the world to exercise and maintain a healthy lifestyle. I see you smiling Mama, you can relate right?

Let me tell you this. You deserve a break. People will judge you one way or another. Damn if you do, damn if you don’t. Learn to don’t give a f*ck in everything you see or hear. Breathe. Give yourself some time. Read a book. Learn a new skill. Join a mommy community. This will keep you sane. You can do this Momma!

Life

Mom Guilt, Just Because.

Posted on June 14, 2022March 12, 2025 by sherwinelaine

Being a stay-at-home Mom is really not for the faint hearted. Last Sunday, I was left in the salon because my hair color isn’t finish yet. I was really disappointed with myself for having that “pamper time” which I really doubted that I deserved. It was my first time again after more than 2 years (last salon visit was December 2019 before the pandemic). The kids went home with the hubby and hubby was not able to rest.

I cried because of guilt — of taking my time off from the kids for almost half day.

I cried because I felt sorry for myself — because I cannot enjoy a pamper time without thinking about my children.

I cried because I kept telling myself that I deserved that few hours of ‘me time’ but my mind says otherwise.

I know that every momma with a situation like me can relate. No househelp, with two kids aged below 10, with a business to focus on. Add in how the society view you as one of the privileged ones, often misconstrued as moms lounging in the house all day and ‘only’ taking care of the kids and being financially dependent on their husbands. It’s a lot of hard work and a lot of patience. Honestly, I do not know how I manage to do it but I am surviving everyday.

But don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being around with my kids. I enjoy it when they come with me when I drive around to do errands for the day. I get unli-smiles, unli-cuddles and unli-kisses. I get to see their milestones and be there for them every step of the way. I love how their eyes twinkle when they see my face as they wake up each morning and their drowsy eyes before they fell asleep at night.

Just today, they asked for a Samgyup date. You can never imagine how happy my heart is seeing their smiles when we arrived at the restaurant.

For me this feelings are valid. As a SAHM, do you experience it too? ♡